Love makes us dumb. So dumb. Emotional intelligence can elude even the smartest women. After one bite from the love bug, women throw caution to the wind and partake in unsafe behaviors, risky relationships and downright stupid choices. Many women (girl, me too) look back and wonder what they were thinking! Like…really?
Check out the Top 5 list of Mistakes Black Women Make in Relationships!
- Going with the man who shows the most aggressive chasing.
Just because he’s doing the most, doesn’t mean he deserves your number! Many times, aggressive chasing can be symptomatic of a deeper issue. In many cases, some men just can’t handle rejection. This can stem from the fatherlessness we see in our communities, and sometimes even the lack of motherly affection that a man needs to make him emotionally healthy.
Now this rejection from you makes him chase you until the rejection ends. Once the rejection is over, so is the love, tenderness, and caring that you saw in the relationship. Many women also report that his aggressive pursuit strategy was similar to other aggressive behaviors he later displayed- ranging from abuse to controlling tendencies.
Just because he just has to have you, are you sure you want him?
- Not asking questions, doing their homework, & falling for the Okie Doke.
Players love women like this because these women tend to be overly trusting due to a number of reasons. These men look for women they can take advantage of. Just because he has a perfect smile and seemingly Michael B. Jordan’s confidence, you decide to take his every word at face value?
Women, you can do your homework before getting caught up! By doing so, you can find out if he already has someone and just wants you as a side piece (umm…no thanks). Furthermore, if he is on the wrong side of the law, or if he really is the person he says he is this will give you time to learn him more.
Many women wished they hadn’t turned a blind eye to obvious red flags like: never being invited to his home, seeing that he only called at certain times of the day (or evening), or ignoring the tan line around his ring finger. Oh, and 2 cell phones, Red Flags!!! Run girl.
- Taking Care of Him or Giving Him Money $$$.
Not all men are predators or opportunists. HOWEVER, whether they are or not, many women confess regrets that they took care of their man financially or even went as far as to take out a loan for him. Say what now? Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I was raised to think that men take care of women- not the other way around! Just think, if you have to loan him money, how can he EVER afford to buy a ring? Take care of a family? Provide the security you look for in a relationship?
At the end of the day, taking care of a man will produce REGRET and potentially bad credit. If he’s down on his luck, don’t make him the victim. Keep your money instead- encourage and motivate him to lose his boyish insecurities. This will lead him to do what’s necessary to become a real man. Let him go out in the world and figure out how to make things happen for himself like the BOSS he is!
- Hanging on when he’s not that into you.
Not all men break up with a woman outright. Sometimes they become hard to reach, as if they are avoiding the woman. Usually, he is. Take the hint and move on. “Don’t waste your pretty.”- Thank you Tracy.
5. Trading sex for the feeling of love.
Many women become bed partners when they are really wanting the feelings of love, intimacy, emotional connection, and companionship. Some women state that they compromise in this area when they would prefer to date and just be friends. Women under this circumstance are wanting the emotional feelings that come with love. Many of these feelings tend to represent themselves during sexual intimacy. Many players use this inconspicuously on unknowing women. This makes the woman feel she is having the closeness that she wants and the love she is seeking when she’s merely having sex…
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