De’von has been a player for many years and has many male counterparts that he states use much of the same tactics as he.  So without holding you any further we will go forward with the interview.


Me: Well hello Mr. De’von

De’von: Well Hello Ms….

Me:I dont want to have the ladies waiting so I suppose I will just hop right to it.

Me: So where did you get that name.. “De’von”, did you just make it up or does it have some sort of meaning because I do know its not your true name.

De’von: Its like this.. I meet a lot of females when I fly around the country for my job and some of them you dont want to be able to look you up.. you know.. with all the technology thats out there today.  I got to keep things on the low.

Me: Oh you mean like background checks?

De’von: I mean background checks.. credit checks.. license plate checks.. criminal history.. sh*t like that.

Me:Oh so are you a criminal?

De’von: Naah.. its not about being a criminal or anything like that.. its just I have to make sure that its not easy to be looking all into my business while i do what i do.

Me: What is it that you do?

De’von: I do me?

Me: And what is that?

De’von: Well if you referring to women.. I just do what comes natural…

Me: And natural is?

De’von: I just try to have as many of them as I can.

“Being a player takes being groomed at all times.  You always have to be looking your best because you never know when you may see a new target. Look Good and Smell nice.”

Me: As many as you can? That sounds absolutely ridiculous if you dont mind my saying.. Im sure all of the ladies reading this would say the same.  How is that possible? I mean like whats the point?

De’von:Oh.. its possible.. women see me and they decide they want me and they just let me do what I want.

Me: Like what?

De’von:They see me in the airport, on a plane, at a club, in a restaurant and if they approach me or I approach them.. its like they already decided in their mind of what I am like… who I am as a person and what my character is like.

Me: So are you saying they just give you a pass because you are handsome?

De’von:Pretty much. She watches TV and sees this vision of what she thinks a man is and when she sees me she sees that same vision.  So its almost like its an unconscious thing.  She cant help it because she has been conditioned, kinda to want me.. or maybe I should say to want someone like me.

Me: Are you saying they wont do this to guys that arent as attractive as you?

De’von:Yep, I have homeboys that im with all the time and they cant get away with nearly as much as I do with females.  I can tell her im married, tell her I just want to have sex.. or whatever..

Me: Ok… you must be talking about 17 or 18 year olds… because I cant see you being that bold and someone just going for it.

De’von:Well it happens.. all the time. I just know what to say and how to say it.

Me: Ok Mr. De’von lets jump to it.  Why are you a player.. why do you need so many women.. is it just being greedy or is it to get numbers to show your boys.

De’von:No not that at all.  Its more like feeding a need.

Me: A need, what you mean?

De’von:Well no female perfect right..

Me: Ok no one is perfect for that matter Mr. De’von

“Most of them know when I am cheating.  She just doesn’t want to lose whatever she was gaining by being in the relationship.  The more she wants whatever I have the longer she will ignore it or do what she can to keep the relationship.”

De’von:Right, I understand that.. but thats not my point… my point is that I love women.  I may date a number of females but there is something that I like that is different about each of them that I am involved with.

Me: Ok im listening…

De’von:Well its like.. I might like Brittany because she has a good job, is career oriented but this girl Shay I date is none of that.  She is more hood.. rough around the edges.. and sometimes I like that.  Brittany is very conservative in the bedroom, she dont like to get nasty with me… Shay get down for hers.

Me: What you mean nasty with you… oh and lets keep this PG-13 please..

De’von:Ok.. I mean I like it nasty sometimes.  Doesnt everybody…

Me: And you are saying because Brittany doesnt give you that.. then you go to Shay?

De’von:Just being real, but yeah.  Or one female might be really good looking.. but she might not be very conversational.. so it depends

“I stay in shape to make sure I am always irresistable.  As long as I keep it in the gym I can easily attract those that love a man with a great body.”

Me: Oh.. I get it.. so you look at women like they are a Buffet.

De’von:Yeah.. I guess you can say that.. because there I can have what I want..

Me: How do you manage all of this… Im sure it gets pretty expensive with all of these female “Buffet Items”.

De’von:Yeah it gets pricey but I do pretty well in my profession.

Me: So Im sure the ladies want me to ask this.. So what is the most essential thing you do to not be discovered by your real woman or all these women or whatever…

De’von:Well, when I have a primary woman im with.. I keep two cell phones

Me: …and two cell phone bills?

De’von:No not really.. one thats not traceable where I can just put minutes on it.  My real phone I keep unlocked so that she dont think im cheating… cause you know how yall like to snoop in a n*ggas phone.  So I let her snoop.. and she wont find a thing.. because its not in that phone.

Me: Oh.. so I guess you make your calls from the other phone too then

De’von:Yep you got it… that way if im with her and someone calls, I can still answer it so she will still trust me.  My other phone (my burnout) is still at home.

Me: Whats a burnout?

De’von:The other cellphone (the dirty one).. its just a back in the day term for a phone that you buy minutes on and can toss if you need to.

Me: Ok Mr. Devon.. I think the ladies have gotten a good introduction of who you are.. I would like for you to become a continued contributor on the blog going forward so that the ladies can ask questions or make comments and you respond to them.

De’von: Yeah that sounds cool.

Ladies I want your feedback on this.  I am trying to get my head around this and im sure you are too!  It seems that there are so many tactics that men are using and we are totally unaware!!  This blog series is not to make you angry at your man or get you paranoid, but I think its important that we stay informed on the stupid things that men do.

Since De’von is open to speak with me about this, I wanted to share this information with all of you.  What do you think? What would you like to know? What would you like to ask De’von?  Have you been cheated on?  Is “Your” man cheating? Lets talk, so that we all can become better informed and less prone to victimization of men who emotionally abuse us in this way.