1. He is Emotionally Intelligent

Low-quality men look for immediate gratification and have no patience and regard for tomorrow, they focus on the immediate and only have aspirations for today.

High achieving men do the exact opposite of low-quality men by deferring immediate gratification for the longer-term goal and strategy set for success tomorrow. They plan ahead.

2. He Has Purpose

When a man knows what he wants and likes, then it only takes a minimum amount of drive to develop a purpose.

Simon Sinek describes a purpose as “Knowing Your Why”

Having a purpose tends to distinguish men that focus on sitting around and playing video games all day from men who are setting goals and making strides for a better future.

3. He Faces His Fears

Bravery is not defined by a lack of fear. Bravery is precisely what happens when we embrace our fears and push forward despite them (Forbes).

Fear leads to avoidance, which then leads to more avoidance, which leads to a progressively smaller, more limited life, says Susan Bilial Hass MD of Psychology Today.


4. He Embraces Failure

Successful men do not define failure as the opposite of success but a successful man defines failure as the opposite of trying.

Failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result. It’s a vulnerability that breeds self-doubt and then is escalated by fear. – Michelle Obama, Becoming.

“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” —Winston Churchill.

5. He Plays to Win

High-Value Men always play to win while many others just play to not lose. He thinks about what he wants vs. others think about what they dont.

Ex. I want to go outside vs. I don’t want to stay in the house

6. He Has High Self Esteem

Many people think self-esteem and confidence are the same and they are not. Confidence is defined as a feeling of a person’s powers or abilities to succeed in a task. Self Esteem is confidence in “Yourself”.

These traits allow this man to have courage under fire and be a rock during problems and not crack at the simplest hint of adversity.

7. He Has An Internal Locus of Control (He’s not a victim)

Locus of control is defined as a person’s belief of his successes and failures in life.

Internal – You are the reason for your successes and failures

External – Someone or something else is the blame for your successes and failures

Having an external locus of control is having a “Victim” mentality. WebMD states, “Victims don’t think anything is their fault, they have little or no sense of responsibility for their life. Life just happens to them.”

8. He is Assertive

Oxford defines assertive as having or showing a confident and forceful personality. ex. “patients should be more assertive with their doctors” This should not be confused with aggressive.

9. He is a Good Leader and a Great Follower

Inc Magazine states “To be a good leader you first have to be a good follower.”

While the High-Value Man is being a follower he is allowed to master skills that will allow him to become a great leader when required to do so.

10. He has solid values and does not compromise them

Values are the things that you believe are important in your life and the way you live.

A High-Value man has strong values and any outside pressure will not sway him from compromising those values in any way.

11. He Accepts Growth as A Way of Life

Les Brown states, “If you read one book a month in an area, in 5 years you will be among the top 5% in the world in that area.”

High-Value Men believe that failure is an opportunity to learn and therefore grow. They understand that failing does not define them but failing to grow does!

12. He has Strong Boundaries and Takes Ownership and Responsibility

Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Boundaries also decide what you will and will not do and will and will not put up with.

Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them.

Look for this in the next man you meet.