Home Blog

5 ways to get richer during inflation

Picture of young loving couple discussing about domestic bills at home. Woman screaming to man while holding documents.

Are you worried about inflation and how it affects your bankroll? Have you noticed that your check is the same, but there’s a lot less at the end of the month compared to last year? Yes, it’s inflation. But quite simply, think of inflation as a hidden way for the government to take away all of the money they gave you during the pandemic.

Many companies are failing now, and even more, have fallen during the pandemic. So this can be a time of sadness or great opportunities. Even the most prominent companies are not immune from this downtrend. Companies like Netflix or the company formerly known as Facebook or Snapchat are all companies that may be shrinking or maybe even completely gone!

But you may not know there are ways to get around this obstacle – and even benefit from it! Here are five sure-fire ways to make the most of inflation and become wealthier during these challenging times. Remember, the rich find ways to advance during tough times, and you can too, and here’s how.

  1. Start A Side Hustle

A side hustle is a great way to get rich while other businesses suffer. For example, I’ve noticed that much of the food I order today on doordash kinds sucks. Why? Because these companies are suffering! You can flank them, meaning copy them and compete directly with them while they are wounded, or you can provide a better service, provide better quality, or even provide a better price while they are struggling to stay afloat.

2. Buy Crypto

You can get richer during this downward trend in Crypto by investing small amounts in low-priced cryptos. For example, I made thousands of dollars last year on little-known Crypto called Shiba Inu. I also told everyone in my club in Clubhouse, and they also made tons of money.

So How did I do this? I look for Crypto that is very cheap but in the top 100 list. And when I say cheap, I do mean cheap. You can get 10,000 of these for maybe 1.00. So because these things are so low priced, you can easily afford maybe 50 or 100 dollars of these and wait for them to shoot to the moon while everyone else is waiting on bitcoin!  

3. Starting a home-based  business

The current economic climate has made many anxious about their financial future. One way to protect yourself during a recession is to start a home-based business. 

A home-based business can be a great way to make extra money during inflationary periods. By selling products or services that are in demand, you can ensure that your business remains profitable even when the economy is struggling.

Entrepreneurship is a great way to secure your financial future during tough economic times. If you are considering starting a home-based business, now is the time to act. While many companies are falling off, you can start up.

4. Buy Stocks

Most people like you may be afraid of the stock market, and the biggest problem is that you may have become more apprehensive during this downward spiral. The talking heads on the news tell you what to do and what not to do. But this is an opportunity for you to do what the rich do. Take your money and set it aside for when this market continues to fall, then gradually invest small amounts in it weekly, daily, or monthly over the next year, and before you know it. Kaboom! Next, you are on YouTube telling everyone how you became a millionaire!

5. Tighten your belt and prepare for the ride

a. Make sure you’re getting the best value for your money.

During inflationary periods, prices for goods and services tend to rise. That means you must ensure you get the best value for your money. Compare prices from different vendors, shop around for deals, and don’t be afraid to haggle.

b. Review your budget.

Your budget should be reviewed regularly, but it’s crucial during inflationary periods. Make sure your income is keeping pace with inflation and that your spending is in line with your overall financial goals.

c. Invest in inflation-proof assets.

Inflation can hurt the value of your assets, so it’s essential to invest in inflation-proof assets such as gold or real estate.  These assets will hold their value better during inflationary periods and can help you stay afloat financially.

d. Cut back on unnecessary expenses.

During inflationary periods, it’s vital to cut back on any unnecessary expenses. Take a close look at your spending and see where you can cut back, even a little bit. Every little bit you save will help you weather the inflationary period and come out ahead financially.

What Does A Woman Want In A Man?

It’s a tough world out there for men. We are constantly inundated with messages about what we should be and how we should act, but it can be hard to decipher what women actually want. Do they want us to be nice, or do they want us to be bad boys? Are they looking for intelligence or street smarts? And what the heck is swag anyway?

Black women are often looking for more than just physical attraction in a man. They want someone who is comfortable in his own skin and knows how to communicate. He should be confident but not cocky, and still able to make her laugh. Intelligence and education are also important, as are ambition and having goals. Black women want a man who is financially stable, well-groomed, and of course, a man who is recognized in the hierarchy of their social circles.

Here are 15 things that black women want in a man (There’s much more):

– A man who is comfortable in his own skin

– A man who knows how to communicate

– A man who is confident but not cocky

– A man who can make them laugh

– A man who is intelligent and well-educated

– A man who is ambitious and has goals

– A man who is financially stable

– A man who is well-groomed and takes care of himself

– A man with a good sense of style

– A man who is a good listener

-A Man Who Is Patient

-A Man Who Is Passionate About What He Does

-A Man Who Is Kind and Compassionate

-A Man Who Is Loyal and Faithful

-A Man Who Can Be a Good Friend as Well as a Lover

-And, Finally, a Man Who Loves and respects black women!

What do you think black women want in a man? Let us know in the comments below!

Black Men That You May Want To Avoid on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge or other Dating Apps

Looking for a man to date online? Be careful when you’re swiping through profiles on social dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, or BlackPeopleMeet. Not all black men on these sites are good matches for you – in fact, some may even be downright dangerous.

Here are 23 types of black men you should avoid completely when looking for a partner online:

1. The “catfish”: This type of black man creates an entirely false profile on dating apps, often using someone else’s photos or lying about his own identity. These men can be found on Clubhouse with the fake bio, or fake photos, or photos of him and is fake girlfriend, beware many of these guys tend to be the “Down Low” brothas.

– 2. The player: This type of black man only cares about hooking up and has no interest in building a meaningful relationship. This guy will begin to talk about sex quickly as his insecurity will not allow him to foster any deep relationship with you for a time without getting his sexual gratification from you.

– 3. The “mama’s boy”: This black man is completely dependent on his mother and will never be able to make a decision without her approval – or worse, he’ll expect you to take care of him as she does. Black women fall prey to this. If you have a man that wants to rest in his femininity while you take care of his problems… watch out!

– 4. The cheater: This black man is not faithful and will cheat on you, even if he’s in a committed relationship. He is super insecure. He needs to be with many women to validate himself as a man. Watch this guy, he is always looking for your approval and or the approval of others.

– 5. The “broke” guy: This black man always seems to have financial problems and is always asking you for money. But it will always start by him investing in you. (Tinder swindler type)

– 6. Mr. unemployed: This type of black man is not currently employed and has no plans to find a job any time soon. He probably stays with his mother (mommas boy) or uses women for his own place to stay. Watch out, he will be moving in with you next.

– 7. The cyberbully: This black man is always rude and aggressive online, lashing out at others with his hateful comments and abusive language.

– 8. The narcissist: This type of black man only cares about himself and has no interest in your needs or desires. Just look at his photos, is his shirt off? Is he always showing himself at the beach or with friends or fawning with the ladies, be careful.

– 9. The scam artist: This black man will try to con you out of money or steal your personal information in order to take advantage of you, this is the Black “Tinder Swindler”.

– 10. The “baby daddy”: This black man is not interested in a serious relationship and will only use you as a baby mama, often leaving you with all the responsibility for raising his children.

– 11. The abusive black man: This type of black man is verbally or physically abusive, and may even be violent towards you.

– 12. The cheater: Other than being a player, this guy also likes to cheat on his partners. This man cheats because he feels empty inside or has what is called the madonna whore complex.

– 13. The drug addict: This black man is addicted to drugs or alcohol and will often use you as a way to get access to these substances.

– 14. The womanizer: This black man loves the ladies – and will often have several girlfriends or side chicks at the same time.

– 15. The commitmentphobe: This black man is afraid of commitment and will never settle down with one partner. If you ask this guy what is he looking for… he will always say something like “whatever happens happens”

– 16. The immature black man: This type of black man has no interest in a serious relationship and is still very much stuck in the mindset of a boy.

– 17. The “wannabe gangsta”: This black man thinks that acting tough or using profanity makes him look cool when he really looks like a fool.

– 18. The “thug”: This black man is involved in illegal or criminal activity, and you definitely don’t want to be associated with him. He looks very much like a leader or what some may call Alpha but this man is a man that has not formed a solid identity growing up so he is copying the identity of other men he has seen and looks up to.

– 19. The never-ending bachelor: This type of black man is always single and doesn’t want to settle down, even though he’s getting older.

– 20. The jerk: Ultimately, you should avoid this black man simply because he’s an all-around jerk to everyone – including you. He uses is jerkness to avoid getting close to a woman, usually because he has some deficiency that he is trying to avoid being seen if ever he gets too close.

-21. Mr. My D*ck is so amazing/big/whatever else he can think of, this is the guy that is proud of his penis and tries to get you mesmerized into trying it out because he seems to think that all women are nymphos kinda like the basic women he has been dating all his life.

-22. Mr. Overcompensate/Mr Insecure This guy is totally insecure and tries to be hyper-aggressive to mask the weak little man-boy on the inside.

So if you’re looking for a quality partner online, be sure to steer clear of these 20 types of black men on social dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, or

7 Best Hair Moisturizers For 4C African American Hair in 2022

Moisturized hair is what all African American women with kinky 4C type hair look for. Our hair becomes dry very easily. This dryness can result from high or low porosity and other issues like ph and hard water.

Finding a natural hair moisturizer that is good for 4c hair can be a difficult task. This is why we tend to become product junkies. We need a natural hair moisturizer suitable for our African kinky type hair. This moisturizer will need to help our hair retain moisture while locking in that moisture for at least a day (or more!).

At Ask A Lady Ask A Man we put in the work so you don’t have to!. We have researched a number of products and through our research here are the results we have found!

1. Keravada Creme Brulee (3-Day Moisture) 14.99

The biggest hair problem You have found? Of course, We know… MOISTURE… We guarantee that Your hair will be moisturized after a single use.  You will not need to use lots of expensive products.  Your comb will glide through even the toughest hair types.  You will even get great results for your children!  You (and your family) will never have dry hair again.  Ever!

2. As I Am Double Butter Cream 23.99 + Shipping

  • Rich Emollient Blend Of The Finest Natural Butters and Organic Oils.
  • Perfect for Combatting Dryness and Rough Feel. Improved Manageability.
  • Daily Moisturizer. Locks in Moisture. Soft and Shiny Curls and Coils.
  • Enriched with Pro-Vitamin B5 (Panthenol). Repairs Split Ends and Strengthens Hair.

3. Carol’s Daughter Hair Milk 24.99 + Shipping

Leave-In Moisturizer: This rich cream quickly and easily absorbs into your hair, leaving it looking glossy, nourished, and frizz-free, featuring Shea Butter, Soybean Oil and Agave Nectar

4. TGIN Butter Cream Daily Moisturizer 21.00 + Shipping

MAXIMUM HYDRATION FOR NATURAL HAIR: Get the beautiful hair you desire with our Butter Cream Daily Moisturizer. Uses Shea butter to lock in moisture from the root to the tip of every strand of hair.

5. Miss Jessie’s Leave In Condish 22.99 + Shipping

What it is: Leave-In Condish is Miss Jessie s lightweight leave-in conditioner and detangler that acts as the ultimate frizz fighter and moisturizer for wavy curly tight curly or transitioner s hair. What it does: It leaves your curls super soft and uber shiny without any oily buildup. Leave ÂIn Condish coats your curls and locks in an extra layer of moisture protection between your curls and styler. Formulated with Soybean and Aloe for its moisturizing properties Leave-In Condish is a moisture lock.

6. Baomint Moisturizing Curl Defining Cream 32.00 + Shipping

– Honey: Packed with amino acids, vitamins, and minerals to keep hair healthy, soft, and conditioned.
– Silk Amino Acids: Repair damaged hair cuticles, make hair less frizzy, lock in moisture, and give hair a natural sheen.
– Shea Butter: Helps maintain moisture and softness

7. CURL CONDITIONING OIL-IN-CREAM 29.99 + Shipping

If your hair is coarse, dry and constantly craves moisture, you’ve just found your new best friend! The Oil-in-Cream is our richest leave-in conditioner. Its buttery texture will melt onto every strand delivering moisture throughout the week until your next wash. It is very concentrated, so a little goes a long way. It doesn’t mean it’s heavy though – we have designed it to melt onto your strands and absorb without leaving greasy or sticky residues behind.

12 Traits of a High-Value Man (Expanded)

1. He is Emotionally Intelligent

According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped to popularize emotional intelligence, there are five key elements:

  • Self-awareness: aware of one’s own emotions, feelings, knows what he wants and does not want and knows what he feels and or does not feel
  • Self-management: can deferring pleasure, disciplined, staying power
  • Social awareness: aware of other people’s emotions and social dynamics (individuals behavior in a group and how that affects the group)
  • Relationship management: builds and managing positive relationships

Low-quality men look for immediate gratification and have no patience and regard for tomorrow, they focus on the immediate and only have aspirations for today.

High achieving men do the exact opposite of low-quality men by deferring immediate gratification for the longer-term goal and strategy set for success tomorrow. They plan ahead.

2. He Has Purpose

When a man knows what he wants and likes, then it only takes a minimum amount of drive to develop a purpose.

When a man has a view of his wants and needs and knows what he likes or dislikes then developing a purpose for his life becomes more clear and attainable.

Simon Sinek describes a purpose as “Knowing Your Why”

Knowing your why is akin to having a reason for aiming your bow toward a particular target knowing that you may miss.  While in many cases the purpose-driven man is expecting to miss still realizing that a miss allows for immediate adjustment to get even closer to the target on the next shot. 

Having a purpose tends to distinguish men that focus on sitting around and playing video games all day from men who are setting goals and making strides for a better future.

3. He Faces His Fears

Bravery is not defined by a lack of fear. Bravery is precisely what happens when we embrace our fears and push forward despite them (Forbes).

THE PROCESS OF FACING FEARS IS CALLED EXPOSURE. EXPOSURE INVOLVES GRADUALLY AND REPEATEDLY GOING INTO FEARED SITUATIONS UNTIL YOU FEEL LESS ANXIOUS (ANXIETYCANADA.COM).

Fear leads to avoidance, which then leads to more avoidance, which leads to a progressively smaller, more limited life, says Susan Bilial Hass MD of Psychology Today.

Here we can assert that those who are unable to face their fears will avoid things in life that will allow them to progress and grow. This growth is necessary for confidence, self-esteem as well as preparation for the continuous change required to take care of a support a wife, provide for children, and other traits required to endure the constant change brought on within society.

7 STEPS TO DO TODAY TO SEE YOUR NATURAL HAIR GROW “THIS MONTH”!!!

4. He Embraces Failure

Successful men do not define failure as the opposite of success but a successful man defines failure as the opposite of trying.

Failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result. It’s a vulnerability that breeds self-doubt and then is escalated by fear. – Michelle Obama, Becoming.

“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” —Winston Churchill.

5. He Plays to Win

High-Value Men always play to win while many others just play to not lose. Although these two traits may sound like they both achieve the same result, while in fact, they do not.

Playing to win focuses on the mindset of thinking with the result based on what they are wanting out of life. Playing not to lose requires a mindset of thinking only in terms of what one does not want in life.

In simple terms, one focuses on wants the other on don’t want. One is thinking positively about what is wanted and one is thinking negatively about don’t wants which is a much lower standard of achievement.

Ex. I want to go outside vs. I don’t want to stay in the house

6. He Has High Self Esteem

Many people think self-esteem and confidence are the same and they are not. Confidence is defined as a feeling of a person’s powers or abilities to succeed in a task. Self Esteem is confidence in “Yourself”.

This confidence in yourself or “Self-Esteem” comes from our beliefs about ourselves which are formed through continuous experiences whether good or bad.

The primary difference between the two is confidence may go up and down depending on the circumstance or task, while self-esteem remains intact regardless of the task, circumstances, or ups and downs of life.

It is important for a man to use his internal thoughts rather than external forces to develop his ego and self-esteem. It is necessary for this to be built internally as without those external forces then one’s self-esteem or self-worth will be gone.

These traits allow this man to have courage under fire and be a rock during problems and not crack at the simplest hint of adversity.

7. He Has An Internal Locus of Control

Locus of control is defined as an individual’s belief regarding the reasons for one’s successes and failures in life. There are two types of locus of control.

Internal – You are the reason for your successes and failures and control both outcomes as you choose

External – Someone or something else is the blame for your successes and failures in your life.

Having an external locus of control is akin to having a “Victim” mentality. WebMD states, “Victims don’t think anything is their fault, they have little or no sense of responsibility for their life. Life just happens to them.”

This mindset is the mindset attributed to a failure in many and most aspects of life.

8. He is Assertive

Let’s start with two definitions here:

Webster defines assertive as: characterized by bold or confident statements and behavior (actions)

Oxford defines assertive as having or showing a confident and forceful personality. ex. “patients should be more assertive with their doctors”

Many people think that being assertive is akin to one being aggressive and it is not. Let’s take a look at the word aggressive.

Oxford defines aggressive as: ready or likely to attack or confront

Assertive in contrast consider the thoughts and feelings of the opposing person while aggression focuses only on the wants of the antagonist.

In the book “Boundaries for Leaders” by Dr. Henry Cloud, this is described as being “Hard on the issue but soft on the person”.

9. He is a Good Leader and a Great Follower

Inc Magazine states “To be a good leader you first have to be a good follower.”

This is because in business and in life there are many more followers than leaders and not everyone can be in charge at the same time.

While the leader is in follower mode he is allowed to master skills that will allow him to become a great leader when asked or required to do so.

To be a great follower and therefore become a good leader one has to have ego management which allows them to keep the “I” and “Me” in check.

10. He has solid values and does not compromise on them

What are values?

Values are the things that you believe are important in your life and the way you live.

These values determine what is most important to you which becomes a strong predictor of how your decisions will be made and what choices you will make. This is important because this determines whether a man will cheat in a game of poker or steal when he does not have money.

Peer pressure is the influence wielded by people within the same social group. It is also the term used to describe the effect this influence has on a person to conform in order to be accepted by the group (VeryWellFamily.com).

When a man does not have strong values he may compromise a weak value for someone else’s values.

When a man has strong values, any outside pressure will not sway him from compromising those values in any way. His decisions will not sway based on other people’s opinions and negative persuasion.

11. He Accepts Growth as A Way of Life

Les Brown states, “If you read one book a month in a specific area, in 5 years you will be among the top 5% of people in the world in that area.” Here Les Brown emphasizes that growth in reading a single book a month can make you one of the foremost world experts.

High-Value Men know and understand this. They are consciously seeking growth and learning in all areas of life. They may not be trying to succeed at being one of the foremost experts in a field but they are definitely learning and growing to better themselves in life.

High-Value Men believe that failure is an opportunity to learn and therefore grow. They understand that failing does not define them but failing to grow does. A man like this will never be in the same position as you have seen him 5 years ago.

12. He has Strong Boundaries and Takes Ownership and Responsibility

Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Boundaries also decide what you will and will not do and will and will not put up with. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them.

Good leaders take ownership of wins and losses. If the company fails the CEO resigns, if the team loses the coach is fired. In leadership, the leader is always able and willing to take responsibility of winning while also taking ownership of if the team loses.

Good leaders do not place blame on others and will sometimes accept blame for others’ shortcomings of whom he is responsible.

A good example of this not being done is Adam and Eve. Eve brought the forbidden fruit to Adam and Adam chose upon his own will to eat it even though he was specifically told not to. When Adam was asked why did he do what he was told not to do, of all things he first blamed the woman while also adding God as being partially responsible ”

Genesis 3:12 And the man answered, “IT WAS THE WOMAN ‘YOU’ GAVE ME”.

Geneis 312

Did Adam just blame God and Eve? Uhhh… Yeah… No. Real men take ownership and responsibility and accept their rights and wrongs. Look for this in the next man you meet.

20 Traits of A High-Value Woman

  1. She Embraces her Femininity
  2. She Cares About Her Appearance
  3. She’s Not Confrontational or argumentative with her man
  4. She’s A Champion of Community Causes
  5. She’s Kind and considerate of others
  6. She Only Associates with Masculine Men
  7. She Cares About Her Reputation
  8. She’s Classy and always acts like a lady
  9. She’s Always Improving Herself
  10. She’s a HomeMaker
  11. She’s A Peacemaker
  12. She’s Loves Family and Family Values
  13. She’s Not A Victim
  14. She Saves Her Sexual Power For One Man
  15. She seems unapproachable to Low Value Men
  16. Low Value Men are uncomfortable around her
  17. 100% Comfortable with a mans leadership
  18. She have strong morals and values
  19. She has strong boundaries to maintain her morals and values
  20. She is attracted to provider and protector types


Conclusion

12 Traits of a High-Value Man

1. He is Emotionally Intelligent

Low-quality men look for immediate gratification and have no patience and regard for tomorrow, they focus on the immediate and only have aspirations for today.

High achieving men do the exact opposite of low-quality men by deferring immediate gratification for the longer-term goal and strategy set for success tomorrow. They plan ahead.

2. He Has Purpose

When a man knows what he wants and likes, then it only takes a minimum amount of drive to develop a purpose.

Simon Sinek describes a purpose as “Knowing Your Why”

Having a purpose tends to distinguish men that focus on sitting around and playing video games all day from men who are setting goals and making strides for a better future.

3. He Faces His Fears

Bravery is not defined by a lack of fear. Bravery is precisely what happens when we embrace our fears and push forward despite them (Forbes).

Fear leads to avoidance, which then leads to more avoidance, which leads to a progressively smaller, more limited life, says Susan Bilial Hass MD of Psychology Today.

7 STEPS TO DO TODAY TO SEE YOUR NATURAL HAIR GROW “THIS MONTH”!!!

4. He Embraces Failure

Successful men do not define failure as the opposite of success but a successful man defines failure as the opposite of trying.

Failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result. It’s a vulnerability that breeds self-doubt and then is escalated by fear. – Michelle Obama, Becoming.

“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” —Winston Churchill.

5. He Plays to Win

High-Value Men always play to win while many others just play to not lose. He thinks about what he wants vs. others think about what they dont.

Ex. I want to go outside vs. I don’t want to stay in the house

6. He Has High Self Esteem

Many people think self-esteem and confidence are the same and they are not. Confidence is defined as a feeling of a person’s powers or abilities to succeed in a task. Self Esteem is confidence in “Yourself”.

These traits allow this man to have courage under fire and be a rock during problems and not crack at the simplest hint of adversity.

7. He Has An Internal Locus of Control (He’s not a victim)

Locus of control is defined as a person’s belief of his successes and failures in life.

Internal – You are the reason for your successes and failures

External – Someone or something else is the blame for your successes and failures

Having an external locus of control is having a “Victim” mentality. WebMD states, “Victims don’t think anything is their fault, they have little or no sense of responsibility for their life. Life just happens to them.”

8. He is Assertive

Oxford defines assertive as having or showing a confident and forceful personality. ex. “patients should be more assertive with their doctors” This should not be confused with aggressive.

9. He is a Good Leader and a Great Follower

Inc Magazine states “To be a good leader you first have to be a good follower.”

While the High-Value Man is being a follower he is allowed to master skills that will allow him to become a great leader when required to do so.

10. He has solid values and does not compromise them

Values are the things that you believe are important in your life and the way you live.

A High-Value man has strong values and any outside pressure will not sway him from compromising those values in any way.

11. He Accepts Growth as A Way of Life

Les Brown states, “If you read one book a month in an area, in 5 years you will be among the top 5% in the world in that area.”

High-Value Men believe that failure is an opportunity to learn and therefore grow. They understand that failing does not define them but failing to grow does!

12. He has Strong Boundaries and Takes Ownership and Responsibility

Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Boundaries also decide what you will and will not do and will and will not put up with.

Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them.

Look for this in the next man you meet.

5 Questions to determine if “You” may be Combative

What is combative? Am I combative? What would make me considered to be combative? Why am I combative? Can I change or get better? Does this cause my relationship/job problems? Is being combative or defensive the same?

According to Dictionary.com

Combative: inclined to fight or prone to being argumentative. It’s especially used to describe someone as defensive and frequently disputes things.

5 Questions to determine if “You” may combative

  1. Unable to accept correction or someone telling you that you are wrong.
  2. Feel that criticsm or correction is harmful
  3. Does not like being given orders or very sensitive about taking orders
  4. Often disagrees based on personal feelings rather than facts
  5. Hates or punishes the messenger delivering negative information

Interesting isn’t it? Well, Keep Reading…

PsychologicalScience.org states that people who are sensitive to criticism tend to take the information they don’t fully understand as negative. A Harvard study showed that those who were unable to take criticism had an inclination to associate neutral (non-negative, or non-positive) words as negative.

“A sensitivity to criticism may lead an individual to be negatively impacted by any criticism, even when that criticism is constructive and intended to be helpful. (GoodTherapy.org)

Dr. Simon of drgeorgesimon.com presents a theory that states that people are combative because they have to win at all costs when given information that is corrective in nature.

Being combative directly correlates to sensitivity to criticism. This mindset shows a strong correlation/relation to negative thinking. Are you a negative thinker?

Shouldn’t I Love Others More Than Myself?

I was asked this question by a blog reader that wanted to know if loving other people first is the natural order of things when the bible says we should focus our love on others. Yes, there is an order or hierarchy of values but it probably is not what you think.

The bible says Love Your Neighbor “as yourself” not more than yourself. This also has the assumption that you know how to first love yourself.  Not knowing how to love yourself negates the whole premise. Does one not rely in fact on the other?   Then we must ask ourselves, how can one love his neighbor as himself if he does not first love himself?

Regarding parents, should we love them more than ourselves if the bible says to honor thy mother and father? Webster defines honor as the words “high respect”.   Note that Respect is defined as “High Esteem”  and Esteem is defined as  “High Worth or value”. Again we ask can we love another without holding that person higher than yourself which puts them in the place God should singularly own? Does this makes them an idol? Of course we know God highly frowns upon that.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs goes further into this.

Notice the needs go from bottom to top with the bottom being the foundation for building the others. The first level is breathing eating sleeping 🛌 these are requirements for your own survival.  You cannot survive for your neighbor? Or can you? Can you breathe for your neighbor (maybe for a little while with CPR). But all jokes aside.  On an airline they tell you in case of an emergency 🚨 first put on your oxygen mask 😷 then “help” your neighbor. Is it selfish to first put on your mask and then begin to assist your neighbor? How could this be selfish and yet be physiological?

In this circumstance can you live and your neighbor live as well? If you switch this around and do the opposite of directed you both may die or maybe just your neighbor will live. But God may in fact have a greater work for you but does he wish that your neighbor live and you die or worse you both die? Maybe you both should live? What do you think?

Light Skin vs Dark Skin and the Science of Attraction

The Science of attraction

African American women and men have been trying to understand why do certain ideals exist around light vs darker skin African Americans and thicker bottoms and thighs vs those with more and less of each of these features. Its been found that some are prewired while the rest is programmed.

Lots of research has been done over the years in the area of attraction and attractiveness. Brain imaging studies and neuroscience has led researchers to find that there are programs (“Apps” just like mobile apps for your iPhone) to help you determine what is attractive to you, the a and what is not. Additionally, These apps are designed for the software to get automatic periodic updates with new information and bug fixes just like your mobile apps. When new information is learned an auto-update adds a new version update from version 1.0 to version 2.0 (Just like your ClubHouse Updates).

Your default apps from when you were born have a built-in determination of what attractiveness will look like to you. This tends to change as you get software updates from your family, surroundings, television, internet, and other influences that update your app’s software from version 1.0 to version 2.0 or even 3.0 and so on.

When people look at you they automatically associate how you look with a certain set of personality traits and or feelings they may have about things they “think” they can assume about you based on your “look”. What they are in fact doing is trying to read how a future with you would be based on how you look!

For Example

Think of it like this, if a man has witnessed an old man play basketball terribly then he will automatically not want to pick any future player that reminds or resembles that player. Here an app update is programmed that an older player will not perform well in a game of basketball. This will result in this person not choosing this player on his team because he believes the player will not perform well in the next game if he chose him as his team member today. Why? Because of his latest software update.

One can conclude from the previous example, that the brain makes associations that are unrelated and relates them as if they are. For example, old age and basketball. Two totally different things are not connected. These connections we make to determine what we like whether it be darker colored mate vs lighter colored mate. These likes and or dislikes are the same factors that have been used for decades on African Americans where we have been programmed to associate blackness with crime, poverty and homelessness in social media, news and television.